Teaching Through My Insecurities

Inspired by "The Heart of a Teacher" by Parker J. Palmer

After reflecting on the first two weeks of this semester, I am met with more questions than answers. My self-doubt looms before me, but I keep going. Is this my true work? Is this really what I am called to do? What parts of myself do I share with my students? My family? What do I leave at home, or deep down in the pit of my stomach? At some level, there is no place to hide.

Then I think about the thread of life-giving lessons that make me rejoice at the prospect of teaching another week. I think about the magic that Julia Alvarez brings to life through her character Tia Lola in the novel we are reading. I think about the power of words, art and theater harnessed by Quique Aviles and the Paso Nuevo youth program at Gala Hispanic Theater (see videos below). I think about two guys who have come from Mexico as interns and will help implement a human rights curriculum developed by the American Friends Service Committee.







Finally, I look forward to the mystery, excitement and vulnerability of my students' stories. The highlight of this week will be show and tell. Assignment: "Bring in a picture or object that represents something important to you. It can be about you, your family, your country, or your culture." Doing show and tell sounds tame enough, but my heart skips a beat with trepidation. Will my students bring in stuff that's appropriate? Will their stories break our hearts? Last semester, there were some tears shed during show and tell. "That's OK," I tell myself, making sure there are tissues in the classroom. "Crying makes us stronger." This is my new thesis about tears.

I let go and decide that show and tell will be a success no matter what. We've gone over the school rules, laid a foundation of respect - a word whose definition we will hone throughout the semester, throughout our lives - and started opening up to one another about what makes us tick. "This week is gonna be awesome," I tell myself. And I know if I teach with that attitude, nothing can bring me down.